He, of course, blamed his impotence on Marianne, raging that she was no longer enough woman to excite him, but even after consorting with several ladies of the evening he began to accept (even if only to himself) that he would need extraordinary types of stimuli to get and hold an erection. Despite his continual barrage of put-downs he was also becoming aware of how Marianne was developing physically. He was determined that he would use the emerging beauty of the young woman to solve his own impotency. Always a creative, if debased, intellect, Cornelius began freeing his imagination to discover how he could use her to provide the excitement he needed.One evening as Marianne was getting undressed for bed (he insisted she always sleep nude) he turned on the overhead light to get a better look at her nubile body. He noticed that she immediately moved away from the window, its curtains drawn back and exposing anyone near it to those who might be outside. It was then that an idea swept. Asking Lennie just made him suggest something short withheels.Lennie liked high heels. That night when I wore my glittery, blackstilettos, I caught him sneaking a look several times. Next time hesaw me at work, just a few days later, a profound disappointmentclouded his face after his gaze flicked to my feet to find only mylace-up work flats."You promised heels," he'd said, affecting a pout and a light tone,for the driver's benefit, but his brows had come together into a moodylook.Repeating my line about railways and beautiful shoes, a little moredefensively than was proper in my own booking office, only induced thedriver to side with Lennie."It's not like you have to go on the trackside, Clover. I bet youhaven't got a track safety certificate anyway."I didn't, such training was deemed unnecessary for station staff likeme, but that wasn't the point.He went on from the sensible area of railway safety into mildmisogyny. "Besides, love, you'll get more good reviews from yourpassengers.
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